The Fat Leech

It’s the 5th evening today, and it is still raining outside. The walls, floor, tables, chairs, everything around me has become cold and damp. I was sitting near the window, trying to look outside on the empty streets, and water running towards the gutters. But, It was hardly clearly visible. Raindrops continuously kept making the mild thud-sound as they hit window glasses every time and pass on towards the bottom ridge of the window.

An hour ago I completed “The Metamorphosis” and kept the book folded on the side table beside sofa. Looking outside the window, I sipped the coffee and held both my hands around the Mug tightly to feel the warmth. “Kafkaaa” I whispered. I questioned to myself, “What was his life all about ? Sorrow, sadness, hard work, or depression ? I could not read happiness anywhere in the book. Are great books often written by only the ones who have felt pain, depression and all the weird thoughts in their lives ? Should one understand all the emotions in the world to write a good book like Metamorphosis?”. I read about Franz Kafka on my old computer and I noticed that throughout his life nothing was constant other than one thing – which was “writing”. I also found out that some days prior to his death he had burned all of his writings, and that made me question, “Was he ever even happy with what he was writing?”. I sat there thinking about Kafka and the Book for almost the next 2 hours, looking outside the window. The streets were empty, walls were damp, just one car passing by after some time. The city has been similarly quiet for the last 5 days because of the typhoon. I still have the headache, for the leech is stuck to my head and has been sucking blood growing heavier. Magically, no one other than me can see this stinking, dirty, blood collated Fat Leech.

I got up and went towards the Kitchen, while Kafka is still in my mind and my head feels heavier and heavier. I was wondering how much can a person live in sorrow thinking he is a failure, but in reality the person turns out to be a natural genius. I believe this is what happens when you are always looking down on yourself and keep telling yourself that this is not enough all the time.

I wanted some more coffee because of how cold my surroundings had become. Just holding that hot ceramic mug full of flavored coffee felt very good to my internal organs. I took out the packet of grounded coffee, it is a medium ground citrus flavored coffee. I took a sheet of filter paper, opened and spread it in the funnel. I took a spoon full of the grounded coffee, put it in the funnel and pressed it a bit with the spoon so the water stays longer, gets filtered and flavored properly. Then, I poured over some steamy hot water from the kettle into the funnel. It helps the coffee ground to form a base in the funnel and also slowly release its citrusy flavor. The water droplets passing down from the window top coverings were almost transparent like crystal clear water particles. The base for the coffee was ready, I could smell the citrusy pineapple flavored coffee aroma in the kitchen. I took the kettle and started pouring more water in the center of that coffee ground creating a hole into the center, just like Mt. Fuji! Traditionally, I divided my pour into 2 halves. It helps the coffee gain flavor slowly not leaving all the flavor to just sit down in the cup. I almost feel like puking when all the flavor of the coffee is sitting down in the cup and it suddenly hits you when you’re near to finishing it.

I took my cup, sat on the sofa thinking about the dream I had last night. Even though there’s very less sleep I get to take in the night. I often try to get in the bed at 11:30 or 12:00 AM. For the next 2-3 hours I’m just staring outside the windows. When it wasn’t raining the sky was very beautiful, its a void but with an extravagant beauty of itself. Because of the typhoon, at nights the sky is all cloudy and it just speaks about sadness. I kept staring outside for some more time, till my eyes started to close themselves. It is a bit of a trouble sleeping when all you’re doing is stay at home and your body won’t get tired. It is very hard to sleep in these situations. Before sleeping, I was thinking of a dream I had earlier, it was a weird dream and I was the character in the dream. My memory about the dream is a bit blurred but I can remember some of it.

In the dream, I was lying on the footpath at night, all scathed with dust on my body which left my tuxedo all dirty. I was crying, frustrated and looking at the night sky. For some reason, I felt hopeless and I was just looking at those twinkling stars in the sky. I wondered about boundaries and foundational limits of everything. Tiny little things made me worry.the night sky. For some reason, I felt hopeless and I was just looking at those twinkling stars in the sky. I wondered about boundaries and foundational limits of everything. Tiny little things made me worry.